please be more considerate.

; Don't do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

so true.

its like, if u dun like to do it, what makes u think others will like it?

if u dun like to study, there are even more thousands of people who do not like it.

if HE can dun care, why cant i?

why must it be me the one who everytime giving in?

i know this sounds like so "STUBBORN", after all i learn this from u guys, it runs in the blood?

too bad.

i cant be bothered anymore.

its because of that, u guys take it for granted, okay.

i got weary of it and cant be bothered anymore now.

thank you very much for your co-operation, each day i just hate you even more.

blame blame blame. demand demand demand.

seriously, get urself a life.
STOP DEMANDING.
u expect people to do this n that, have u consider others' feelings yet???
DONT U THINK U ARE SELFISH?
ARRRGGHHHHH.
when people make time, got prepared to go, what is ur reply?
u said u want to go on your own rite?
so what is this now?
THIS HAS NO LINK TO ME WHAT SO EVER K, dont blame it to me k.
i cant be bothered with this things anymore.
for i'm already numb, with this stupid things.
seriously, i hate it okay.

Silence is a girl's loudest cry.

no matter how talkative or noisy or transparent a girl is, there are things that they keep to themselves.

no one knows about it.

mixed feeling, messed up mind.

sometimes me, keeping quiet, coz there are just simply too much going on in my mind til i dont know what is exactly going thru there.
i have been falling sick for the past 3 days, n this is considered abnormal for me, coz normally i will get better within like 2 days?
n i have been drinking water a lot lot lot lot but my sore throat got worst instead.
n yeah, i dont really make it a habit to go n visit a doctor unless it is a serious thing like the other time when i fell..
hope i get well soon, coz my exams are pretty near, IT STARTS THIS MONDAY.

today.
before that, i shall start with last nite, i cried to sleep, again.
this was because my mom was talking with her friend on the phone n was talking bout dad.
i miss him.
she was saying bout last time when my mom first left indo n came to spore, n how my dad actually looked around for her and tat took place for quite a some time yet now whenever they met, they are no different from strangers.
how ironic things can be.
from strangers to friends to lovers yet back again to strangers.
so who are left hurt?
the children.
my parents do not know what is in my mind, they think that everything is alright, they didnt know how many times i have cried to my sleep.
how many times i keep on praying to God to make my family complete again.
how many times i tell God i want to experience the feeling of having complete family.
i want to have a normal life just like the other kids do.
my mom said that feelings will fade after some time, she even asked my bro who went back to indo last year, why my dad did not re-married.
i'm glad he didnt.
sadly, he will somehow spend the rest of his life alone.
but i pray to God to always protect him, i miss him, alot.
though whenever we meet, we have not much to talk about, but yeah, i still miss him.
i made a promise to myself that when i grow up one day, when i work and earn more already, i will take care of him!
if possible, i will even bring him to singapore.
i don't care bout what the-one-at-home thinks.
coz my dad is irreplaceable.
he may be wrong in the past, where he drunk and got all violent, causing my mom to lose trust in him but he is still my dad.
i dont know why, but when i feel sick these few days, i think alot.
n again God let me experiences his love for me.
His abundant love.

for some people who has never been in my shoes, u may not know the feeling of living in fear every single day.
when u have this fear that constantly reminding u that someone u love may just leave u any time.
ANYTIME.
again it happened, like 10 mins ago?
suddenly my mom who was lying on the bed next to me, was in pain in her right arm, she feel numb on it yet pain at the same time as she cant move it around.
i gave a massage to it n pray, "God please heal my mom." this may sounds selfish, but which child wants their mom to fall sick?
i kinda regretted for being so cold towards her earlier on, due to me falling sick, i feel kinda in-a-bad-mood.
my bro has to leave to Johor tomorrow to chop his passport.
yet my mom demanded me to go with them early in the morning tomorrow.
me?ANGRY at first.
ever since i fall sick, no one in this house even ask me, "how are u feeling? have u eaten?"
sad rite.
it is as though i'm leaving in this whole house, all alone.
nobody even care, yet they can be so demanding at times and want things to go their way.
so when she asked what time we shall go to Johor, i just ignored her and giving her those "sian" face. yeah.

My mind is kinda messed up rite now.
God, please.
u know my exams are coming.
i pray to u.
please.
let me focus for this coming 10 days.
i wanna do my best for this exams.
i want my mom to be proud and happy.
although she never show it, she never express it out.
or sometimes i even feel she cant even be bothered.
but please God.
take care of her.
i know u love her just like how much i love her.
i pray to u to take care of this family.
i pray to u to take care of the people around me.
thank you, Father.

care.

nobody cares?
feeling so sick, but nobody cares at all.
literally, no one at home.
its like they don't even bother to ask whether, "are you okay? do you feel better?"
even if answer that, "i am not okay" and they can't do anything to make it better, but somehow i know they care.
but now, they didn't even make the effort.
sad life?
others have worst one than mine, i guess.

but i do envy those with loving family, or at least caring people around them.
while mine is only demand this n that.
don't u guys get tired of it?
u don't, i do.

FEELING SO SICK.
SICK.
S.I.C.K.
S-I-C-K.

i'll soon be alrite.

the same feeling is back again.

for the past dunno-how-many-hours i have been feeling sick, nauseous, feel as though its the end of the world. oh well, i guess, not yet.
sick physically or is this just on the mind?

last nite, i was so sick, yet i cried to my sleep, again.
yeah, i do, miss my dad.
though we dont really have much memories or time spent together.
but it is sad, isn't it?
having someone u love or loving someone for so long, yet after some time the feeling just fade away?
when u were once so closed yet soon become strangers.

things are getting worse, but i keep on hanging there.

I FEEL LIKE CRYING OUT LOUD.
SCREAMED OUT LOUD.
U HAVE NEVER BEEN IN MY POSITION.
U DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL.

we were almost there, but what happened?
i miss you.
i have never feel like this before.
i tried to keep this feeling dead inside me, but i failed.
does that mean u really cant be bothered already or what?
i have yet to get the answer.
u are the wrong guy i have been fighting for?
feeling so tortured inside.
do u know how it feels?
u once said u wont be a good boyfriend, are u sure?
we may not be together, but i wish we will be close, just like last time.
we talk with each other.
why why why
what is happening?
when i feel down, emo, u were there.
but where are u now?
I MISS YOU.

is he the new person that has come to my life?
will he be able to replace u in my heart?

P.S: happie Valentine's day.

it has been a year plus ever since i hang on to this feeling, how long will it take?

i don't know, but i will still try to make it work out.

u tell me k.

i'm all tired, yet i keep on fighting for it, for u n me, for us.

5 days to V-day. ;D

You’re the best thing. There’s no comparison to anything else at all.


i miss talking with u.
when will that happen again?
when u actually took the initiative to start talking with me again, u start the convo, u start the sms-ing. u start asking me out with the rest.
i miss all those k.
when. when, when.
but at least, yeah, i have some sweet memories with u. 
i dont regret those k.


saw this, "If you truly love someone, you’d give anything up for them. But if they truly love you back, they’d never ask you to".
yeah.
i shall not give up a tree for the whole forest.
there are other better things to do..


5 DAYS TO V-DAY.
WOOHOOOO.
nothing to be excited about though.
lol..
but still..
muahahahaha


=)

its hard.

so true.

so you really has let it go?

so am i supposed to let it all go to?

seriously, i keep on trying.

but do you know how hard it is?

why why why

why do u treat me like a complete stranger?

like suddenly?

every day, without fail, i go look at ur profile. 

how silly i can be.

but yeah, i did that.

call me silly if u wanna.

but yeah, sometimes i think i am.

i have yet to get your answer, i guess i will never get it, rite?

hmm..

wish u happy then, though i don't know how long this feeling gonna last.

i thought it was fading but i keep on hanging there, without any reason.

because, its hard.

aniwaez, had work today, played monopoly deal with XJ most of the time.. lol...

today work was fun.. ;D

we delivery Mcd n the person literally send it to our door step, the glass door.. lol..

n yeah.. ;D

then answered calls n calls n calls.. lol

there was a lady who lodge a complaint, kinda scary..

n she asked for my full name

hoho

well, hope tmr will be a better day, going to hj's house for chinese new year celebration after church service. :)

my happy ending.

will i ever have my happy ending?
well, Valentine's Day is coming and i'm missing you.
u know that, don't ya?
why is this happening?
we were so closed, we were almost there.
am i supposed to keep on hanging?
why dont u tell me..

CNY 2011. rabbit year.

so, yeah, ITS CHINESE NEW YEAR!
this year, new year, rabbit year, is super duper boring. =.=
on the so called 30th day, had lunch at home, n yeah, as usual, no day without argument..
sianz..
but yeah..
then went to Chinese Garden with KOREM, FUN. ;D
thanks God for the weather, for the food and drinks, for the bond between KOREM, for fina's place, for every single thing.
though it was raining at first, n recently, but in the end everything went well.. ;D ;D ;D
and then went to Fina's house and cook, nice nice! ;D ;D
we had bread before that, Fina's egg mayo was nice too! ;D
n yeah, I LOVE PINEAPPLE TARTS. HAHAHA
thanks to my Grandma for sending me a box of it thru my aunt & uncle that came to spore to celebrate CNY. ;D
i'm lovin it.. lol..
n oh yeah, today i slept like nobody's business k, coz my body just feel tired. tired. tired. n tired. =.=
then went to my aunt's house at geylang bahru there, so longgggg..~.~
it took us like 1 n half hours to reach home.. hoho
n here i'm at home.
before that, i realise that new year doesnt mean u have to spend alot in getting everything, so called NEW.
in the past, i tend to spend alot, in getting new clothes which includes top and bottom. and it comes in a few pairs.. furthermore, new shoes, bags, accessories, and watever i can find and buy.
but this year, i only bought a shirt from cotton on and my sis bought a mickey mouse shirt from uniqlo.
i did went to so called wanna shop to town and JP but didnt find any that i wanna, so yeah..
this means that i save more this year.. ;D ;D
oh well, so many things i wanna buy but i know that things are not everything.
God is. =)
nitez, peeps!