1st letter.

Dear God, this is my first letter to You. Today, during PETRAS, we watched "letters to God", i know it's not coincidence that we watched but instead U have planned it longgggg ago before we were brought to this world. When i watched it, i teared. U know it's difficult for me to cry when i watched movies, but I did. This movie reminded me about U, how far i've drifted away from U. As disappointed as i can be with myself, but I know U never left, U are always there protecting me, waiting for me to come back to U. Here i'm God. Secondly, it reminded me of the people i carefor especially my mom, dad, bro and sis. I have this never-ending fears. About my mom who today felt that her body wasn't feeling that well, i thank U god because U have been giving her strengths to move on til this very second. Thank you, Lord. Sometimes i feel that i'm such a failure daughter, all i know is to ignore her when i didn't get what i want, despite knowing it doesn't feel good to be ignored. ;'( today when i went up to made the hot drink for her, the usual question will pop out, "why me? Why not my oter sibling?" yeah, my sis was there. But then again, why be so calculating? Why is it if it's strangers the one who's sick, i'll be willing to do it without complaining? But when it comes to my own family, i complain and complain? Moving on to about my dad, i've gor no idea what's going on to him, sad right? But bro said that they are doing alright there. I'm a bad daughter because i don't know that my dad is in difficulty yet i judge him, i lectured him, i pushed him into the corner. Sorry, Dad. Dear god, please protect my dad too. May he sees the lights in You. I miss him, my only wish is that he can go back to mom, though it seems to be impossible, but nothing is impossible in U, i believe that God. I just hope that monster won't come and disturb my dad's life, my life, my family's life. Please God, let those devils be far away from my family. I pray for my siblings, bro and sis, though we are not that close, but we know that we still care and love each other.

I pray that may my family be re-united, live together just like a normal family. I love my family.

I'm going to sleep now, God.

Good Night. <3

With lots of love and sadness,
juveline