Sense of urgency.

Dear God,
Seems like i'm losing it. I'm losing my sense of urgency, is this a sign of me giving up? A sign of me not bothering? A sign of me not gonna do anything about it anymore?
I set my alarms last night, but i forgot that i silent my hp due to watching the "roller coaster" video before that.. =.= so here i'm otw to school, i woke up at 10:26 today when my class is at 10-12pm. Here i'm on the circle line but it's already 11:41am.

I feel like i'm becoming more and more irresponsible nowadays, going to school as though it's a choice when it's supposed to be my duty right as a student.

I promise, i'm gonna catch up during the chinese new year break, as to others, they will be having people to spend their time with, but not me. Gonna have 5 days break (sat-wed!) :)

I miss celebrating CNY at indo, though i'm not close with my relatives and cousins but the feel of having meals together as a family, it's a nice feeling. CNY should be like that right? A house full of chattering, laughter and enjoyment.

I'll be having attachment on march onwards, 8 weeks. Mom n sis might be going back to indo for grandma's bday. The thought of me staying on my own in that house.... U know right, God., without needing me to spell it out word by word here..

After school, hmm.. Nah, after project i mean, might be meeting taronk but i'm still considering though.. Feel like spending time on my own but i'm kinda lazy too. Should i just go home? Feel like getting the beancurd though, but i've got to travel to chinatown and it only opens at like 5+ or 6+ pm.. So what should i do, God? Aniwaey, my plan of going for a jog this morning fails, pretty obvious right.. ~.~

God, please guide me to the right path. Give me that motivation to carry on when everything seems wrong.

Bless the people around me, protect then, be it those that are close to me and as well as those i barely talk to, my acquaintance and also the strangers that i've yet to meet. You're the greatest of all.

Thank You, God for this wednesday, gonna do something meaningful with the rest of my day.

With lots of love,
J <3