TGIF.

Dear God, i have so much things to tell you. Wanted to blog last night but i was too tired to do so. So tired yet i can't sleep. I stayed awake til 5+ this morning.

In the evening, at 11pm, i saw this video posted by "Singaporean". It was about this dog that has been this owner's partner for 19 years. But now he is growing older already, in fact he is dying. (his actual age is 100+).
The story is very sad, i cried like tap water last night and burst into tears afterwards but sis n mom thought it was because the show i initially was watching. But they were wrong, i just simply need to cry my heart out. Nowadays, it's so tiring, very.

You know what, God.
Even at the "death-bed", all that matters to the dog is "is there any stranger around that man? Is he protected? Will he be alright?" now i know why people say "dog is a man's bestfriend". Even their flesh and bloos may abandoned their parents, people will walk out of others' lives without guilt but this dog, he is different, he is very sad that he can't be the man's partner anymore, he even hand his duty to the "new partner".

I feel very shameful of myself, how often do i think about others, treating them as partners. No one left behind, or i'm just a selfish person like any other person, who can't be bothered with my surroundings?

Why is it that some time we treat outsiders, strangers better than our own family members?
Why is it that we lose our calm tenper, we burst into anger when talking to the people we know but endure and be polite to outsiders?
Hypocrite much?!

And last night, she calls again.
She even called mom's hp (due to me using her phone to call that numbwr previously). I don't wanna to drag mom into this, i don't wanna her to know about this at all. I don't even know how to explain it to mom when she keeps on calling, luckily there's bro. He never fails to assure mom that nothing is wrong, he simply knows how to please mom. Even when he has done 101 things wrong, that 1 thing he did right, mom will never say anything wrong about him.
Favouritism?
I've learned to deal with it. After all, i've got all that i needed, why complain?

All that i'm left with is my hope, my wishes.
I want mom to faster recover.
I want dad to be living his life well there.
I want bro to pursue his goals in life .
I want sis to be more mature, stop throwing those unnecessary tantrums. And may bro n sis 's relationships well sailing. (dear god, especially for sis, help her to be accepted in her bf's family. Seems like they have high expectations of her, don't let all this circumstances bring her down).
I pray for each and everyone of my family. To my grandma, may she enjoy her old age, may her children and grand children spend more time with her, paying more attention on her.
To my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews be blessed always, be in on their studies, works or their own family.

For myself, i hope to find what's my goals in life soon, knowing what i really enjoy doing and making my dreams come true. I guess for now, i just want to help as many people possible. Those in need or simply those who i've yet to meet.

Especially to my close friends who are struggling with their lives, keep on moving k. When the going gets tougj,h, the tough gets going. :)

Love you all.
Thank You God for every single one of them.

With lots of love,
J <3