make full use of your remaining time.
9 months.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
everything seems surreal.
Dear God,
recently i have think alot, wondering about anything that crosses my mind.
You know those moments when i start to ask myself, whether is all of this real? am i really here? is this really me? how amazing is this life You've given me, God.
just by looking at this cabin of train, each one of them have the lives of their own yet some of us are related and connected somehow. that's when the saying "the world is not so small after all", isn't it? it's so big as none have ever went to all the corners of the world yet we'll meet people we know once in awhile, unexpectedly.
how Great is Our God.
You're Great.
things do change, just that when we are busy with our own routines, we start to neglect other stuff and when we are back to our own track, we realise that we are growing apart. it's not easy to go back to how it used to be, so what now?
move on with my own life.
Today i have learned to accept it.
2 and half years ago, i started to like this guy, it's beyong my control. a guy who i once thought the right one, my Mr Right. but i was wrong.
"He may be my Prince Charming, hut i may not be his cinderella."
one mistake, change it all.
i'm glad that u chose to let it all cool down, things get more awkward after that though but it's a learning process for me to accept all this. not an easy one but i'm glad it happened. thank you for being sucha good person in my life, i know u didn't wanna things to turn out this way either, none of us want it. there'll be times when i wish things could get back to how it once was, but i was wrong. today then i learn to understand, we have to keep on moving forward and stop looking back.
though i miss those moments when we tease, talk about anything under the sun. i have learned to accept that things are different now.
if one day, u find your Ms Right, i won't be angry or upset or reluctant about it but instead i'll wish ya happiness. :)
finally a day, when i learn to accept this truth.
remember that day when we met unexpectedly at PS.
it was kinda, nah, very awkward.
it's like two strangers saying hi to each other. we both realised that. but no worries, it's a good start, at least we didn't pretend that none of us see each other.
anyway, before i end this, after all that had happened, You're still a good guy, never think that you are lesser than that.
Thank You, God.
finally i got over it. :)
lots of love,
J <3
recently i have think alot, wondering about anything that crosses my mind.
You know those moments when i start to ask myself, whether is all of this real? am i really here? is this really me? how amazing is this life You've given me, God.
just by looking at this cabin of train, each one of them have the lives of their own yet some of us are related and connected somehow. that's when the saying "the world is not so small after all", isn't it? it's so big as none have ever went to all the corners of the world yet we'll meet people we know once in awhile, unexpectedly.
how Great is Our God.
You're Great.
things do change, just that when we are busy with our own routines, we start to neglect other stuff and when we are back to our own track, we realise that we are growing apart. it's not easy to go back to how it used to be, so what now?
move on with my own life.
Today i have learned to accept it.
2 and half years ago, i started to like this guy, it's beyong my control. a guy who i once thought the right one, my Mr Right. but i was wrong.
"He may be my Prince Charming, hut i may not be his cinderella."
one mistake, change it all.
i'm glad that u chose to let it all cool down, things get more awkward after that though but it's a learning process for me to accept all this. not an easy one but i'm glad it happened. thank you for being sucha good person in my life, i know u didn't wanna things to turn out this way either, none of us want it. there'll be times when i wish things could get back to how it once was, but i was wrong. today then i learn to understand, we have to keep on moving forward and stop looking back.
though i miss those moments when we tease, talk about anything under the sun. i have learned to accept that things are different now.
if one day, u find your Ms Right, i won't be angry or upset or reluctant about it but instead i'll wish ya happiness. :)
finally a day, when i learn to accept this truth.
remember that day when we met unexpectedly at PS.
it was kinda, nah, very awkward.
it's like two strangers saying hi to each other. we both realised that. but no worries, it's a good start, at least we didn't pretend that none of us see each other.
anyway, before i end this, after all that had happened, You're still a good guy, never think that you are lesser than that.
Thank You, God.
finally i got over it. :)
lots of love,
J <3
Friday, May 25, 2012
life with a purpose.
Dear God,
You know there'll be times when 101 things running in my mind. when things start to get complicated and getting nowhere.
things happen for a reason, but sometimes i wish i know what the reason is. trying to figure out things on my own, which in the end, i know i won't get an answer. it's like solving a maths equation with too many unknowns.
sometimes when You allow things to happen, i'll start questioning it, why God did You allow it? but then again, Why no? there'll always be two sides to things. it depends on how we see it.
so often i question You too much that i forgot to be thankful for what I have.
things would totally be different if mom didn't bring me to Singapore. it's not because of my own power but Because You allow it, God. it's a priviledge to study here yet often i take it for granted.
2 more days to MST. i know i'm not prepared for it at all. at this kinda period, the questioning of future plans will start to come haunting me again. so what's next? graduating in nine months time, then?
it's saddening when i don't even know what i want in life.
a life with purpose.
the life i had during secondary school was so different from poly.
people labelling you as the smart one, asking any questions possible, expecting an answer from you. u just know that u are prepared for exams any time. no pressure, all comes pretty easy.
so what have changed?
i chose the wrong course?
i still remember when R told me that "don't worry, no matter what course u chose, with that qualifications of yours, u'll make it through, u will do well.0
i was too proud of myself, i was wrong.
so what now?
all i can say is I surrender my life, my future to You, God. Your plan is the most perfect one.
You know there'll be times when 101 things running in my mind. when things start to get complicated and getting nowhere.
things happen for a reason, but sometimes i wish i know what the reason is. trying to figure out things on my own, which in the end, i know i won't get an answer. it's like solving a maths equation with too many unknowns.
sometimes when You allow things to happen, i'll start questioning it, why God did You allow it? but then again, Why no? there'll always be two sides to things. it depends on how we see it.
so often i question You too much that i forgot to be thankful for what I have.
things would totally be different if mom didn't bring me to Singapore. it's not because of my own power but Because You allow it, God. it's a priviledge to study here yet often i take it for granted.
2 more days to MST. i know i'm not prepared for it at all. at this kinda period, the questioning of future plans will start to come haunting me again. so what's next? graduating in nine months time, then?
it's saddening when i don't even know what i want in life.
a life with purpose.
the life i had during secondary school was so different from poly.
people labelling you as the smart one, asking any questions possible, expecting an answer from you. u just know that u are prepared for exams any time. no pressure, all comes pretty easy.
so what have changed?
i chose the wrong course?
i still remember when R told me that "don't worry, no matter what course u chose, with that qualifications of yours, u'll make it through, u will do well.0
i was too proud of myself, i was wrong.
so what now?
all i can say is I surrender my life, my future to You, God. Your plan is the most perfect one.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
whats next?
Dear God,
i know i haven't been updating regularly.. ;(
I have been stoning a lot lately, somehow.
Today is mom's appointment with the doctor again, thought they gonna choose the day for the actual operation date, but no.
I believe, all this postponing is good because You let it happen, God.
I do not know what's your plan is but I will trust You.
I surrender it all to You.
I guess the next question will be, "Should I go for SP Leo Camp?"
I still can't decide.
Yes? No?
History gonna repeat itself again, there will be this period where everybody else expects an explanation but I can't provide one because i do not know how to say or express it out.
I do not know how to put it into words.
after all I am the one going through it.
Not that i wanna all this to happen, after all, who wants?
Next week, mom will be going for another check up.
God, I do not know what's going on.
Have been thinking about the future, life after poly.
i wonder how it will be like…..
okay, shall go back to do Project.
guess its not the time to be emo nemo..
just gonna try my best to complete Claw project and exams….
i know i haven't been updating regularly.. ;(
I have been stoning a lot lately, somehow.
Today is mom's appointment with the doctor again, thought they gonna choose the day for the actual operation date, but no.
I believe, all this postponing is good because You let it happen, God.
I do not know what's your plan is but I will trust You.
I surrender it all to You.
I guess the next question will be, "Should I go for SP Leo Camp?"
I still can't decide.
Yes? No?
History gonna repeat itself again, there will be this period where everybody else expects an explanation but I can't provide one because i do not know how to say or express it out.
I do not know how to put it into words.
after all I am the one going through it.
Not that i wanna all this to happen, after all, who wants?
Next week, mom will be going for another check up.
God, I do not know what's going on.
Have been thinking about the future, life after poly.
i wonder how it will be like…..
okay, shall go back to do Project.
guess its not the time to be emo nemo..
just gonna try my best to complete Claw project and exams….
Sunday, May 13, 2012
HAPPIE BDAY, BABY JUDITH! ^^
HAPPIE BDAY, DEAR JUDITH! ^^
LOVE YA DEEP DEEP TO THE MAX!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS LISTENING TO MY STORIES.
THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME.
THANK YOU FOR SIMPLY BEING AN AWESOME DEAR!
ENJOY UR DAY! ^^
<3 <3 <3
LOVE YA DEEP DEEP TO THE MAX!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS LISTENING TO MY STORIES.
THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME.
THANK YOU FOR SIMPLY BEING AN AWESOME DEAR!
ENJOY UR DAY! ^^
Saturday, May 12, 2012
i love my mama.
Dear God, It's mom's day.
Sunday.
Your Day.
thank you for such a great mom that You've given me.
she sacrifices alot for this family.
She always put us as her first top priority.
She cries whenever she got into quarrels with us.
She worries when we are not home.
She scolds.
but she never hit us.
though my mom is no-like others' moms who can give them every single thing they ask for, my mom always give the best to me.
she fulfills whatever i crave for.
i love her, God.
though i seldom show it, i seldom say it. but i do.
all i'm asking for this mom's day is just Heal her God, make her strong.
Thank You, God.
i <3 my mama.
Happie mom's day.
with lots of love,
J <3
Sunday.
Your Day.
thank you for such a great mom that You've given me.
she sacrifices alot for this family.
She always put us as her first top priority.
She cries whenever she got into quarrels with us.
She worries when we are not home.
She scolds.
but she never hit us.
though my mom is no-like others' moms who can give them every single thing they ask for, my mom always give the best to me.
she fulfills whatever i crave for.
i love her, God.
though i seldom show it, i seldom say it. but i do.
all i'm asking for this mom's day is just Heal her God, make her strong.
Thank You, God.
i <3 my mama.
Happie mom's day.
with lots of love,
J <3
Thursday, May 10, 2012
its friday tomorrow.
Dear God,
it's Friday again tomoorow.
sometimes i do wish time can stop for a lil while.
i don't know what i'm gonna do in the future.
worrying about what comes next.
tomorrow i'll be donating blood in school! :)
still tired after the bonding day yesterday.
still hate that guy.
thet constant hatred that keep on accumulating from day to day, a year after another.
what's next, God?
it's Friday again tomoorow.
sometimes i do wish time can stop for a lil while.
i don't know what i'm gonna do in the future.
worrying about what comes next.
tomorrow i'll be donating blood in school! :)
still tired after the bonding day yesterday.
still hate that guy.
thet constant hatred that keep on accumulating from day to day, a year after another.
what's next, God?
Sunday, May 6, 2012
wonderful days!
Dear God,
thank you for this wonderful Monday. most of the time we only praise You, thankful to You when we get what we wanna. but i want to learn to worship You, to always give thanks.
last Saturday, i went to USS with hilary bobo, cy, kq and jesley boy boy! ^^ it was fun though for certain rides i've no effect on it as i've sat on it for a few times already. hehehe but overall, its a great de-stressing day. :) :)
somehow i'm having this feeling that i'm out of topic with the people around me. no matter how close they are, but to some its a comfortable silence conversation so i'm still alright with it..
then next sat is the formation of leo club of singapore alumni, hopefully by me joining this club i'll be able to help and touch the lives of more people.
this week is the las week of ITP! ;D still thinking about the working part time after it ends. seriously why didnt she brought up the topic about the salary. hahaha oh well... still thinking about it.. :)
n jess texted me just now, happie thing! ^^ glad that i'll be meeting her on Saturday! ;D YAYYY! missing her alot alot alot and waiting for things to go back to how it used to be in the past! how close we used to be! <3
okayy, motion sickness on train now. 2 more stops to buona vista.
have a great week ahead!
Thank You, God! <3
with lots of love,
J <3
thank you for this wonderful Monday. most of the time we only praise You, thankful to You when we get what we wanna. but i want to learn to worship You, to always give thanks.
last Saturday, i went to USS with hilary bobo, cy, kq and jesley boy boy! ^^ it was fun though for certain rides i've no effect on it as i've sat on it for a few times already. hehehe but overall, its a great de-stressing day. :) :)
somehow i'm having this feeling that i'm out of topic with the people around me. no matter how close they are, but to some its a comfortable silence conversation so i'm still alright with it..
then next sat is the formation of leo club of singapore alumni, hopefully by me joining this club i'll be able to help and touch the lives of more people.
this week is the las week of ITP! ;D still thinking about the working part time after it ends. seriously why didnt she brought up the topic about the salary. hahaha oh well... still thinking about it.. :)
n jess texted me just now, happie thing! ^^ glad that i'll be meeting her on Saturday! ;D YAYYY! missing her alot alot alot and waiting for things to go back to how it used to be in the past! how close we used to be! <3
okayy, motion sickness on train now. 2 more stops to buona vista.
have a great week ahead!
Thank You, God! <3
with lots of love,
J <3
post ITP.
Dear God, ITP has finally ended!
8 weeks.
tomorrow will be the start of year 3, time passes pretty fast yeah.
got a Distinction for ITP! ^^ kinda funny when we actually hinted our boss about it. as a boss she is a good one, if only the company's acc wasn't that messy, then it'll be great! ;D
last night mom n sis quarreled. damn annoying, was pissed off over the fact that my sis didn't give in. hello, u know her condition rite, quarrel and say those words for what. in the end, u will regret it.
sometimes i really don't know whats on ur mind, talk with those stupid attitude n tone. am i suppose to entertain u with those bullshits? yet u are acting all good in front of others. why dont u treat them with such attitude too? trying to be yourself in front of them. Zzzz.
sorry God, i know that i have been complaining alot but i simply cant take it alr. what am i supposed to do now?
apart from that.
i still want to thank You for all that You've given to me.
last friday, left work at 7:30pm, had dinner with Louiza, Ivan n Darren at Holland V NYDC, followed by prawning n tonning with the girls then formation day then day out with hilary n jess.
i'm glad for surviving it without sleep for 40 hrs. its all worth it. :)
then today, after sleeping for dont know how many hrs, did house chores then went to meet up with mom at bugis.
bought ear rings, rings, apparels and new iphone cover! yay! ^^
okay, tomorrow i'll need to help mom to do things.
time to sleep!
thank You, God.
You are awesome.
You never fails me.
with lots of love,
J. <3
8 weeks.
tomorrow will be the start of year 3, time passes pretty fast yeah.
got a Distinction for ITP! ^^ kinda funny when we actually hinted our boss about it. as a boss she is a good one, if only the company's acc wasn't that messy, then it'll be great! ;D
last night mom n sis quarreled. damn annoying, was pissed off over the fact that my sis didn't give in. hello, u know her condition rite, quarrel and say those words for what. in the end, u will regret it.
sometimes i really don't know whats on ur mind, talk with those stupid attitude n tone. am i suppose to entertain u with those bullshits? yet u are acting all good in front of others. why dont u treat them with such attitude too? trying to be yourself in front of them. Zzzz.
sorry God, i know that i have been complaining alot but i simply cant take it alr. what am i supposed to do now?
apart from that.
i still want to thank You for all that You've given to me.
last friday, left work at 7:30pm, had dinner with Louiza, Ivan n Darren at Holland V NYDC, followed by prawning n tonning with the girls then formation day then day out with hilary n jess.
i'm glad for surviving it without sleep for 40 hrs. its all worth it. :)
then today, after sleeping for dont know how many hrs, did house chores then went to meet up with mom at bugis.
bought ear rings, rings, apparels and new iphone cover! yay! ^^
okay, tomorrow i'll need to help mom to do things.
time to sleep!
thank You, God.
You are awesome.
You never fails me.
with lots of love,
J. <3
i don't even know what's on my mind
Dear God,
it's so frustrating when i don't even know what i'm frustrated about.
is it because i'm worried?
is it because i'm scared?
is it because i'm confused?
i don't know.
hopeless.
helpless.
useless.
not knowing what the outcome will be.
feeling unwanted.
all those negative thoughts.
sorry God, i know i've to surrender all to You.
for You will give the best for this family.
u know what's mom is going through God.
help her, strengthen her, heal her.
though she nags 24/7, she shouts n screams at us, she got pissed off, she shows favouritism but still, she is the best mom I could ever asked for.
i love her, God.
recently, she keeps saying things like "what will happen to bro or us if she's gone."
i dont even dare to imagine it God.
You know the operation she will be going through, it's not any small minor opt, its a major critical one.
i pray to You God.
heal her God for You are the best healer of All healers.
i surrender my life to You.
thank You God.
lots of love,
J. <3
it's so frustrating when i don't even know what i'm frustrated about.
is it because i'm worried?
is it because i'm scared?
is it because i'm confused?
i don't know.
hopeless.
helpless.
useless.
not knowing what the outcome will be.
feeling unwanted.
all those negative thoughts.
sorry God, i know i've to surrender all to You.
for You will give the best for this family.
u know what's mom is going through God.
help her, strengthen her, heal her.
though she nags 24/7, she shouts n screams at us, she got pissed off, she shows favouritism but still, she is the best mom I could ever asked for.
i love her, God.
recently, she keeps saying things like "what will happen to bro or us if she's gone."
i dont even dare to imagine it God.
You know the operation she will be going through, it's not any small minor opt, its a major critical one.
i pray to You God.
heal her God for You are the best healer of All healers.
i surrender my life to You.
thank You God.
lots of love,
J. <3
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