life with a purpose.

Dear God,
You know there'll be times when 101 things running in my mind. when things start to get complicated and getting nowhere.

things happen for a reason, but sometimes i wish i know what the reason is. trying to figure out things on my own, which in the end, i know i won't get an answer. it's like solving a maths equation with too many unknowns.

sometimes when You allow things to happen, i'll start questioning it, why God did You allow it? but then again, Why no? there'll always be two sides to things. it depends on how we see it.

so often i question You too much that i forgot to be thankful for what I have.

things would totally be different if mom didn't bring me to Singapore. it's not because of my own power but Because You allow it, God. it's a priviledge to study here yet often i take it for granted.

2 more days to MST. i know i'm not prepared for it at all. at this kinda period, the questioning of future plans will start to come haunting me again. so what's next? graduating in nine months time, then?
it's saddening when i don't even know what i want in life.
a life with purpose.

the life i had during secondary school was so different from poly.
people labelling you as the smart one, asking any questions possible, expecting an answer from you. u just know that u are prepared for exams any time. no pressure, all comes pretty easy.
so what have changed?
i chose the wrong course?
i still remember when R told me that "don't worry, no matter what course u chose, with that qualifications of yours, u'll make it through, u will do well.0
i was too proud of myself, i was wrong.

so what now?
all i can say is I surrender my life, my future to You, God. Your plan is the most perfect one.