shyt does happens.

Dear God,
This morning supposed to be project meet up at 8am.
why is it so difficult for me to wake up n prepare for 8am stuff but i still make it in sec school?
my habit is getting from bad to worse. ;(
feeling bad but what's done can't be undone right.

seriously, up to now, i've this mixed feeling about poly life.
at some points, when i'm enjoying it, i'll be like over the cloud 9 and think that i'm the most blessed in my class but then again at some point, i think i'm unwanted kind.

u know when people no longer gives a damn about u, ultimately it's my own fault.

who to be blamed anyway?
none but myself.

but then again, they are not in my position, so they have never gone through what i went through.
each one of them comes from a complete family, they will spend time together and all those stuff.
they don't know what it feels to fight your inner evil thoughts each day. having to put up with people u dislike. having to just suck the shyt up (not literally) and see whatever shyt they do. which in the end, will lead me to hate myself and my life for it. shouldn't i learn to be myself? then why should i worry about being dislike or unwanted or appearing to be okay with it when i'm not?

okay, shyt to all this stuff.
i shall get going.
sorry God, i complained alot today.
love ya.