count your blessings, not your problems.

Dear God,
it's just me writing to You.
though I know I break the promise I made to You, but I'm learning.
it's last three days of work, Have I made the right decision?
Mom is so not gonna be happy about it but yeah, I've decided.
after all, 6 weeks of hols, taking a week break is pretty reasonable right?

apart from that, "loving our enemies as how we love ourselves".
It's so difficult.
I guess I'm a pretty easy going person somehow but i'm just quiet when it comes to making friends with new people in a new environment, if u get what I meant.

well, things have been great.
with great friends meet up here and there once in awhile, with doing comm service even if i don't really contribute much but simply making the time to be there does make a difference, things with mom is going good too despite the fact that i got all worked up when she has done something stupid like buying she doesnt even need. sounds like I'm the mom? oh well.

this break, i've learned lots of stuff, learning to open up. learning to accept certain things are not gonna change.

simplicity is the key. things can be enjoyable and memorable simply when u are spending your time with your closed ones.

last but not least, I've decided to apologise to sis. it's been sometimes but still, I have to do it anyway as i was the one in the wrong.

okay, here comes the giddiness from reading, typing and facing downwards on the train.

Thanks, God!

with lots of love,
J. <3

what's next?

Dear God,
It's 10 after One, Monday.
There are so many things that are running through in my mind.
My head hurts at times, that is how extreme it can be.
complicated? no, if i was to compare with others' lives.
but then again, what's the point of comparing my story with others' ?
the question that I will ask myself when I'm faced with the downturn of my happy life is " Why did You allow all this, God? "
that's when my selfishness starts to come in and take over the wheel and I began to question even more.
sometimes, I want to give so badly, but I will learn to listen to His Voice and try to give it another try.
most of the time, in the end, things got worst.
I'm tired, God.
when I think it has all over, things are getting better yet it is happening again and again.
How long more anyway?
sometimes, all i ask for is just for people around me to be more understanding, is it to much to ask for?
Things on my mind:
- guilty towards sis.
- how to talk to bro.
- what's next, dad?
- why mom cares more about outsider.
- what's my plan after completing the last sem in poly.
- church stuff.
- things are falling apart with friends.
- work.


I am so tired of all the thinking.